The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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