Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
