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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i now understand why vodka
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
