dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
