"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
