no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
