My brain says no but my pants say off.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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