Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
