you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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