He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
