Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
