It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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