ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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