were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
