JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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