would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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