Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
