So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
