You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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