So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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