i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
