We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
only you would photoshop your dick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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