Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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