buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
