i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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