I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
