Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
