my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
