i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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