Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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