I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
