I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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