Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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