fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
