Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
