But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
