so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
