Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
