Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
