He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
