Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
