mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
