Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
