So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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