Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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