tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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