Having a random hookup so left but love u
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
