I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
