I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
