your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
