my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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