Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
