Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
